#RVOriginals - Blogs by RV The Wife is Always Right – Satire

What He Said, What She said!

Part 1

By Rakesh Vanarse for #RVOriginals

He: So, it looks like those days when life stands still.

She: Yes, this bothersome Corona virus has stopped everything in its tracks. I can’t even go to my beauty parlour to get my hair-cut. How bad I must be looking. How sad. How horrible. How frustrating.

He: Yes, but I also mean, just look at all of us. We were anyway struggling in our careers, earning our livelihood and planning for the future. Then, it grew on us so fast. Everything stopped. It’s like a system reboot. No, it’s actually like a life reboot.

She: Yes, that Smita, our neighbour is again up to no good. She is prancing around, like her usual attention-seeking personality. In these times of crisis, she is feeling on top. Irritating people with her know-all smirk and making everybody else feel inferior. Is that what she lives for?

He: No, but yes. Smita has her own quirks. But maybe she is not so bad after all. She is managing a smile even in such times. So, let’s give her some credit.

She: So now, you are observing her smiles. I wonder, when did you observe my smile the last time. She is so, so, so fake, completely plastic. But guys like you actually find such people nice. You are even giving her credit where none is due. Oh god, maybe you are such a fake too. I actually knew it all along.

He: No, that’s not what I meant at all. What I meant is that she maybe fake but manages a smile. That’s all.

She: That’s all. No, that’s not all. A fake is a fake. That’s it. You and people like you should stop supporting and soliciting such fake behaviour. Because of such support, these people get a shot in their arm.

He: Oh my god! That’s not what I meant at all. I was just being fair and unbiased.

She: Oh! So now you are playing great. Where is this greatness when I have been in your life all these years. Going to work, bringing up the kids, managing the house and mind you, managing the house with house help is more difficult, so don’t even think of bringing that into this conversation. Our own bai, Shailaja, has been such a pain. But have I even ever, ever bothered you for the same? But no credit to me. This wants me to just leave you and break away for good. You never ever appreciated me for all my sacrifices.

He: But I was just making a passing statement. So don’t take it so hard on yourself. By the way, it all started with how life is standing still. I wonder how the topic took this turn.

She: If you ever had any sense, you would have given me credit for all these years of keeping up with you.

He: But I have always stood by you. We went out shopping, dining, traveling and had so much fun.

She: All that is a given. What happened to appreciating me all these years.

He: So I appreciate you now.

She: Now, after my telling you. Oh god. This man. Maybe I should go away on an all-girls holiday. Then you will understand my true value.

He: Please do. Maybe you will feel better.

She: So now you want me out of your life. I am not going anywhere. I am right here to get my due.

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